Fearless is crashing a wedding.

I have always loved weddings. When I was younger, I used to picture myself in a fluffy white dress, floating down the aisle with pearls in my hair and a long train draped behind me. I imagined pastel colored ribbons hung from the chairs and the ceilings with flower petals lining the way. I thought of my father in a tuxedo, hiding a few slight tears, as he guided me down the aisle to give me away and my mother, not ashamed of her emotions, blubbering into a tissue as she watched her little girl become a woman. I dreamed of a small string quartet, playing to my footsteps as I glided past my family and friends dressed in their best, watching and smiling at me making my way to my very own Prince Charming, whose breathtaking smile greeted me as I reached the end of aisle. As a young girl, that was all I dreamed of. I wanted the perfect, fairytale wedding.

I have also always wanted to crash a wedding. Legitimately crash a wedding. You see movies like Wedding Crashers and see how fun it looks, but some are just too afraid to do it. I was one of those… until a couple of weeks ago.

A few of my friends and I were walking through the streets of our college town after a basketball game, just trying to figure out what to do. We passed the Inn and couldn’t help but notice a wedding reception was being held there. I Gotta Feeling was blasting, colored lights were flashing, we could hear laughter from the tent. “Sounds like they’re having a good time, we should just crash that wedding!” Someone said allowed. She may have not meant it literally, but my roommate and I took it seriously.

“Anna, do you seriously want to do it?” I asked.

“Let’s do it!” She said.

We proceeded to be the only two to run down the hill to the tent. She peaked under, “Do you want to just dance in the corner for five minutes?”

“Sure!” I exclaimed.

We crawled under the tent and immediately started dancing to Build Me Up, Buttercup. We twirled all around, with absolutely everyone watching us, including the bride. The guests were all laughing and smiling at us while we giggled the entire time we spun in circles.

We snapped a picture of us when our neighbor and his friend surprisingly appeared from under the tent. Suddenly, a couple of men walked over and said, “This is a private party.” We instantly dove under the tent and dashed up the hill, laughing hysterically at what we had just done.

I can now honestly say I have crashed a wedding. Before I started to believe in the idea of “fearless,” I would have never even dared to do that, even if it was just dancing for five minutes. But life is about taking chances and doing things you’ve always wanted to and if I hadn’t crashed that wedding with Anna, I would have definitely regretted it.

Fearless is letting yourself fall in love after getting your heart broken.

Ryan Jeffrey Baker.

This man right here saved me. At a time when I was afraid to open up from fear of getting heart broken once again, he was there. He patiently waited while I figured everything out; what I wanted, if I was ready, if love really existed. I was petrified of opening up to someone and being vulnerable. But for some reason, he thought I was worth it. He let me in, and was there for me as I was trying to decipher between my heart and my mind.

At the time we began to spend time together, Ryan’s life had changed. His father died at the age of 58. Ryan was devastated; his father was his best friend. He needed someone to be there for him in that difficult time and I wanted to be that person. Ryan deserved someone to help him, to talk to him, to tell him that everything will be okay. I thought he was the one who had to open up to me, but it ended up being mutual. The closer we became, the more scared I felt, and my thoughts were racing about what would happen next.

However, as I was sifting through my thoughts, I had realized it was too late. I had already fallen for him. His sweetheart personality, his good looks, his charm, his ability to somehow read my mind overwhelmed me, and I fell… hard. It frightened me because I had lost all control over my emotions. Now came the time when I would choose, to let him in, trust he is not lying when he says he will never hurt me, and fall in love, or run away from something that could potentially leave me broken hearted once again.

I decided to take a chance. I opened up to him and let myself fall in love. Now, I could not be happier. Fearless is not just about physical danger. Falling in love after getting hurt was one of the scariest things I have ever done. But Ryan was right there beside me. He helped me through it all and I couldn’t thank him enough. He is my Prince Charming. I love you Ryan and I truly believe our love is fearless.

Fearless is performing on stage.

When I was two years old, my mother signed me up for dance classes. Ever since then, I have loved to dance. I eventually joined my studio’s elite company and began competing all across the country. The reason for my mom putting me in dance classes was, “You were so shy!” Well, not so much anymore. My years with dance have made me grow not only as a stronger dancer and performer, but as a person. Dance has given me a family that will always remain close to my heart.

One of the most important gifts dance has given me is a creative outlet. If I feel happy, I dance. If I feel depressed, I dance. It is a way to just let out all of my emotions and frustrations, and leave them on the stage.

This picture was taken at a competition after I won an award for emotional performance for my contemporary solo, “Jar of Hearts.” The song is very intense and full of anger and sadness; emotions I couldn’t quite portray as genuine as some. Because before that performance, I had never had my heart broken.

About a week before the competition, my boyfriend at the time broke up with me. He was my first boyfriend and I was completely crushed. All those emotions were built up inside of me, I didn’t let anyone see during school or rehearsal.

As I walked onto that stage, and began to listen to the lyrics of the song, I let the music move me. My anger, irritation, and broken heart took over as I danced with my heart on my sleeve. I walked off that stage and bursted into tears. I had never felt that connected with music and my dancing before. I felt so relieved. I just let everything out and left it on the stage.

That was one of the best performances I have ever done. I wasn’t afraid as I opened up my heart to the audience and the judges. I used my hurt feelings in my dancing fearlessly, and I was never more proud of myself than after that day.

“To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. Fearless is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. Fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again… even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s fearless to have faith that someday things will change. Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. I think it’s fearless to fall for your best friend, even though he’s in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s fearless to stop believing them. It’s fearless to say ‘you’re NOT sorry’, and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting go is fearless. Then, moving on and being alright…That’s fearless too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That’s why I write these songs. Because I think love is fearless.” -Taylor Swift

A simple quote by Taylor Swift that changed my outlook on life and the way I live mine.

When searching for quotes for the yearbook my senior year, there were so many to choose from. There was the classic James Dean quote, “Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.” But I knew too many people would put that. I could have put the Peter Pan quote for my child at heart, “Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.” However, neither of these quotes or many others I searched through and read stood out to me. I decided to go out on a limb and google Taylor Swift quotes, since she is my favorite musician and I look up to her as an entertainer and person. Her quote about fearless lodged itself in my brain. Every time I read a different quote, I just compared it to hers. Her words made me feel something and I decided to make it my senior quote.

Sure the person who said the quote may have not seemed like a surprise for me to choose, but the concept was certainly difficult to picture me believing in. Fearless. Seems pretty badass if you just hear it by itself. But Taylor’s idea of fearless really inspired me and with each opportunity, her words were ringing in my mind.

I have always been the “Goody Two Shoes” kind of girl in school. I was the sweet girl who always did her homework and behaved. I never took a chance with something daring or exciting. I was afraid. But after reading Taylor’s view on how fearless is not the lack of fears, but living in spite of the fears, I started to realize that my fear of doing something wrong or getting into trouble was keeping me from exciting adventures. I then decided to start living my life fearlessly. If an opportunity arose, I would take it because you never know when it will happen again, or if it even will happpen again. Take chances, be wild, and crazy, and free. Be fearless. Because now I am.